- I feel like overall my draft is pretty self-explanatory. I obviously don't have citations yet, that's a main thing that I still need to do, however I've been sick with the flu for the entire weekend and I just didn't have the energy to cite like 20 sources.
- I'm aware that my thesis statement is pretty weak, but there's some comments that I've made to the sidebar of my paper that it may actually be super helpful to me if someone could reply to them with suggestions. Especially on the questions about including quotations, etc. from the particular genre examples themselves.
- I think that the structure of my essay is really good as far as the way that things are laid out and organized.
To visit the rough cut of my project 2, please click here.
Hey Payton! So I know your draft is fairly finalized, but I think you have done a really good job thus far! I know you're very far along in the production process and it definitely shows! In addition to a few comments that I left directly on your draft, I have a few copy-editing suggestions for you.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I think it would be useful to go through and make an attempt at re-wording some of your introductory sentences. A lot of them start with "The first rhetorical concept is..." and that isn't the most creative way to explain things. I know it's a little tricky to be creative within a standard college essay, but maybe one suggestion could be "Additionally, the rhetorical strategy of logical appeals is a convention in common among the research paper and the presentation" or something. Really comb through your essay, count the number of times you say a certain phrase, and try to change some of them if at all possible. Other than that and the other comments, I think you're about golden!