Rough Cut
The rough cut of my project can be viewed here.
Response
I think the most important thing to note about my project is that it definitely is nowhere near complete. I obviously haven't finished the credits section, and I'm not sure that I want to keep it at all, I may actually just add a word document to my final project with all my resources in it.
I also think it's important to note that I haven't really used any mixed media in my project so far. What I mean by this is all of the video so far is just me talking. I would love to cut out some of this, but I'm not 100% sure where I want to cut it out and add other footage in. If anyone has anything to say about that, that would be very helpful.
I think the biggest weakness of my project right now is that it's extremely lengthy. I'm aware of this, I'm just not really sure where to cut it down. If anyone has any advice on that as well.
I think that the biggest part of my project is that I have a strong argument, however I would love to know is there is anything that I could do to present this argument in a more interesting way. I'm totally willing to refilm completely at this point, but I feel like I kind of need to cut down to make it better and more clear.
Hello Payton!
ReplyDeleteAfter watching your video essay, I would like to make some suggestions on form. You spend the entire time talking in to the camera but you don's show any of the sources your pull from in the video. I think your argument will be much more effective if you fully utilized the conventions of a video essay and added pictures or clips of videos.
You talk about some of the things Kesha posts on twitter but you don't show the tweets. Also showing photos of all the people involved might help.
Oh, and I just wanted to point out that at the very beginning of the video, you add a disclaimer that you are not trying to judge whether Kesha's allegations against Dr Luke are true or not but around 8 minutes into your video, you add statistics from the Washington Examiner about the amount of rapes that can actually be proven false and then you claim that we should believe Kesha based on these statistics. That is a very bold claim built on shaky evidence (stats are known to be misleading). It is clear to me that you believe Kesha was abused and your passion on the topic shines through, but a lot of your argument is arguing that she was abused and you said at the beginning that this isn't what the video is about.
Great start! This was is an interesting topic.
Erica Mohr
Hi Peyton, I wanted to comment telling you I have a few suggestions regarding form for your video essay!
ReplyDeleteI thought that your information was good, but if we are focusing on form, I think you have to make a few changes. First, I liked your intro with the music, but but then I didn't really hear any music after that. Also, you are the only thing on camera the whole time and I feel like you should add some video clips or pictures with your voice in the background so it gives your viewers more to look at.
I thought you did a good job on camera, but it wasn't very engaging and I lost interest at some points. Although the information was good, it wasn't fun or entertaining to watch and I feel like you could easily fix that by just adding videos or pictures.
I think that when you make your final version, you can cut it down to make it a little shorter (under 9 minutes) and you should keep talking, but make it a voice over to some pictures at points so you can keep your audience engaged.
I liked your argument and I thought it was interesting and you can make this a great video!
Jianna
Hi Payton! I also chose to review your video, and I saw that some other classmates commented on your form so I'm sure youre probs sick of that by now. I thought I would do Copy Editing; so, language use, design elements, credible sources, etc. Really quick, the only comment of substance I would make on your language use, as far as its effectiveness, would be how you beat around the bush a little bit. I think you can dive right in to your subject; even if people don't know what the whole debate is with #FreeKesha, I think you can spend less time acknowledging that there may be people like that out there and go ahead and explain what the debate is!
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly sure how to interpret 'design elements' but if I were to say anything I would suggest changing your backdrop. (Maybe you were already considering this since this is just a rough cut, I just would say it'll make you look more professional).
For 'credible sources' I see that you've already included where you will be citing your sources in the credits at the end, but I would also recommend you use in-video citations (in-text citations?) to make yourself seem more credible!