Peer Review for Mariana Chacon

For my second peer review for the course final, I will be reviewing a standard college essay written by Mariana from section 4.

"Untitled" by Mariana Chacon

I decided to look at the content in Mariana's project and make a suggestion about how she could better the information presented in her essay.

I think I helped Mariana because  I felt like her essay was kind of all over the place. She skipped from topic to topic, and I suggested that she pick one or two topics specifically and focus on them rather than trying to address everything that happened. I think this will help to make her essay more clear.

Mariana's essay was good but I think that she could've used more concrete references to back up her claims. We talked a lot in class about how important credibility is, so I suggested that she use quotes and information from old blog posts to make her sound more credible. I think that if Mariana established her credibility a little bit more that it would make her essay better overall.

I really liked the honesty that showed in Mariana's essay. I think the way she uses her own voice to tell the story makes it a very authentic essay.

Peer Review for Erin McCabe

For my peer review of someone from my section (6) of English 109, I will be reviewing Erin's standard college essay.

"A Nostalgic Glance Back" by Erin McCabe

For Erin's project, I made a content suggestion. In other words, I made a suggestion about the information that was in her project as well as how effectively she establishes her credibility.

I think I helped Erin to make her project better by giving her feedback on how to better organize the content of her project. I kinda felt like she jumped around a lot with her project, but I was able to suggest that she try to stick to a timeline for her project. Overall, her content was there, I just felt like it could have been more organized.

This project is largely about reflection on previous projects, at least according to the project guides. We talked in lecture about how we were supposed to look out out motivation for doing certain things. I suggested also that Erin talk more about her motivation for all the things that she had to do and why that was important. 

The one thing I liked a lot about Erin's project is that her voice really came through in it. I know Erin and she's super funny and I felt like her essay really reflected that and I think that that made it really great to read overall.

Editorial Report 15B

In this post I will be comparing and contrasting my rough cut of the conclusion of my project with the more fine cut. 

Selection from Rough Cut

I went from never revising ever in my life to editing too much, and then learning to find a balance. This taught me how to be confident in my writing. The revision process is really all about learning to be confident in your work and to just put in time to make sure that what you’re doing is actually something that you like.

Overall, I’d say it was a learning year, but I feel like I learned a lot that will be valuable for the rest of my life. 

As I said before, college is all about learning. One of the biggest things you’ll learn in college is how to balance things. In my English 109 class, the biggest thing that I figured how to balance is how to revise but not to over-revise. I figured out how to be confident in my work without going crazy trying to be perfect. I learned how to be objective about my reviewing, and I learned how to take criticism from others.

Re-Edited Selection

My re-edited selection can be found here.

Author Response

• I found that for the most part I didn't change the content of the closing that I had written in my script. I found that my original content was very effective so I didn't feel that there was really a need to change anything.

• The form for this part of the project changed because I took it from just writing on a page to podcast format. Obviously this will be more effective for delivering content in the genre of the podcast. I think in the future I would like to add more background music. 

Editorial Report 15A

In this blog post I will compare and contrast between the rough cut and the revised versions of my course final project. The part that comes from my "Rough Cut" will be in the form of a script, where the new, revised version will be via Sound Cloud.

Selection from rough Cut

Hey listeners. In today’s podcast I’m going to be talking about my personal growth throughout my English 109 class this semester. Specifically, in the area of revision and editing.

(Introduction music)

The first year of college classes is all about learning. I mean, all of college is about learning, but I think that the first year is especially about learning things that aren’t necessarily academic. You might learn that you absolutely cannot live with someone up in your space all the time, or that you are actually the biggest procrastinator ever to walk the earth.

So imagine, your first year writing class where the topic of your writing is not some boring, hard-to-read book from at least 70 years ago.

Obviously this is a new experience. Really, high school didn’t prepare you at all for college writing. Your guidance counselor lied to you about your AP Lit classes. I mean sure you could write a 5 paragraph essay in 45 minutes, but could you look back at it and pick out every single thing that you did wrong and then make it better?

I learned very quickly that I sucked at revision. I learned that I was lazy when it came to my writing. But not only was I lazy, I was afraid to be held accountable for what I put down on paper. I wasn’t confident in my writing ability. This podcast today is about my revision transformation as I went from never-ever to passionate editor, and as a result, a much better writer, and someone who was proud of their work.

Re-Edited Selection

My re-edited version can be found here.

Author Response

• The content of my project changed because I added in some things like sound effects and transitions. I think that these additions to the content will make my project more entertaining overall.

• The form changed when I re-edited it because I ended up adding in more of the genre conventions, including a short introduction that says what the podcast is about and a transition into the podcast itself. I think this presents the content more effectively because it helps the podcast stick to the genre conventions as well as makes it more entertaining. 

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

In this blog post I will talk about the rough cut of my Course Final podcast. The full podcast can be listened to here.

• Firstly, I would like all my listeners to know that this is my full script for this project, but it is no way a complete podcast. For starters, I have yet to add in music, transitions, or sound effects. As for sound effects, I'm not sure exactly what I would like to do yet, but any advice on that would be great.

• I think the biggest thing about my podcast right now is that it's pretty long and I'm not completely sure that it keeps the listener's attention. I was sort of wondering if any of the information didn't seem relevant or if the listener thinks that it would become more interesting with sound effects etc., which I plan on adding early tomorrow morning.

• I think the strongest part of my project right now is the tone that I have. I feel like this podcast really captures my own voice and it sort of allows the audience to see things more from my perspective. I guess what I would like to know if my voice is too informal, and if so is there anything I can do to make it better.

Peer Review for Jianna LoCricchio

For my second peer review for deadline 14, I decided to peer review someone from section 4.

Production Schedule by Jianna LoCricchio

For this peer review, I decided to comment on Jianna's production schedule for her final project.

Jianna is writing a standard college essay which, not unlike other types of writing, can be something that might be easier to write in a quiet place. She talked about just writing it in her room on her bed, but I suggested that she go to the library or some other quiet place where she won't get distracted or tempted to take a nap (because I would). If Jianna doesn't mind noise then she can just ignore my opinion.

The genre conventions of the standard college essay mean that all of it is written out in paragraph form in a more formal way than the QRG. Because of the fact that it's formally written out, I suggested to Jianna that she set aside some time just to read through what she's written. Not a formal revision or anything, but it helped me when I was writing just to frequently read what I had put down on paper.

One thing that I liked about Jianna's schedule was that she had thought about almost everything. Her schedule was super detailed, giving times, places, and alternate times and places just in case the first case didn't work out. 

Peer Review Elizabeth Hernandez

For the first phase of peer review for this project, I will be looking at the production schedule of one of my peers in my section of english 109H.

Production Schedule by Elizabeth Hernandez

For this peer review I just did my best to take a look at Elizabeth's production schedule and see if I could give her any advice on executing her plan of action.

I gave Elizabeth some advice on how to best make sure that she had time to complete all aspects of the QRG, because as I found out, the QRG is definitely not the easiest genre to master. I think that this will help her in the long run. It's definitely some advice that I wish I had gotten before I started to produce my QRG.

Instead of incorporating course materials and stuff into my peer review, I thought it would be better to incorporate some of my own past experiences about the course materials related to the QRG into my peer review. I suggested that she look at the other examples, because peer examples of QRGs are definitely something that would've helped me when I was writing my own QRG for project 1.

One thing that I really admired about Elizabeth's work is that her schedule was so organized. It seemed very realistic and very honest, but it was also just generally aesthetically pleasing.

Production Report 14B

As I continue to work on my project, I definitely realize at this point that I'm a little bit behind. I haven't yet gotten to actually recording my raw content, but I hope to be able to do that tomorrow morning when I have a quiet place that I can record in.

Until then, I have turned my outline into a script for my project. The whole thing can be viewed here.

Outline Item-Conclusion

1. Conclusion
1. I went from a never-editor to an over-revisor.
2. I think it shows my growth as a writer.
1. I think that being able to look at my own work analytically and deciding what is wrong with it is a super important skill.
2. I have no doubt that this will help me later on in life both in school and in my professional field when I have to look at my own work critically.

Adaptation of Outline Item-Conclusion

I went from never revising ever in my life to editing too much, and then learning to find a balance. This taught me how to be confident in my writing. The revision process is really all about learning to be confident in your work.

As I said before, college is all about learning. One of the biggest things you’ll learn in college is how to balance things. In my English 109 class, the biggest thing that I figured how to balance is how to revise but not to over-revise. I figured out how to be confident in my work without going crazy trying to make every project exactly as great as the one before.

Author Response

• In the conclusion I wanted to take what I had in the outline and adapt it into a speakable bit that nicely sums up everything that I talk about in my podcast. It's less formal than an essay for sure, and it will spoken so I think that makes it different.

• As I said in the production report for the introduction, my biggest hiccup so far has been that I'm super busy with my other classes as well so it's been hard to find time to record this. I would say that my second biggest problem though was the fact that it's hard to make a script for a podcast because you have to be really careful to include all your information because you can't use visuals and stuff.

Production Report 14A

For our final project I will be doing a podcast.

As of today (Sunday) I have not yet recorded my rough cut. I plan to do that tomorrow. I fell behind due to a test that I had last week. But I do have the full script which can be viewed here.

I will be using this script to do my first production report for this project.

Outline Item-Intro

1. Introduction
1. College is a time of learning, but not just information also about yourself.
1. You might learn that you absolutely can’t deal with a roommate
2. Or you learn how to function without your parents doing everything for you.
2. In the case of my English 109 class, I learned a lot about my writing process.
1. Most specifically about how to revise/edit my work.
2. I started out never doing revision, but this semester I did a total 180.


1. This podcast is sort of a look back at my revision process throughout the semester.

Adaptation of Outline Item-Intro

Hey listeners. In today’s podcast I’m going to be talking about my personal growth throughout my English 109 class this semester. Specifically, in the area of revision and editing.

(Introduction music)

The first year of college classes is all about learning. I mean, all of college is about learning, but I think that the first year is especially about learning about yourself. You might learn that you absolutely cannot live with someone up in your space all the time, or that you are actually the biggest procrastinator ever to walk the earth.

I learned that I sucked at revision. I learned that I was lazy when it came to my writing. But not only was I lazy, I was afraid to be held accountable for what I put down on paper. I wasn’t confident in my writing ability. This podcast today is about my revision transformation as I went from never-ever to passionate editor, and as a result, a much better writer, and someone who was proud of their work.

So imagine, your first year writing class where the topic of your writing is not some boring, hard-to-read book from at least 70 years ago.

(insert some sort of shakespeare sound byte here)

Obviously this is a new experience. Really, high school didn’t prepare you at all for college writing. Your guidance counselor lied to you about your AP Lit classes. I mean sure you could write a 5 paragraph essay in 45 minutes, but could you look back at it and pick out every single thing that you did wrong and then make it better?

Author Response

• Because of the genre conventions of the podcast, I knew that I'd be transforming my outline into a script that would have to be readable and keep the viewers interest. I tried to include the sounds that I intend to include in my final in the script, but obviously it needs some work.

• I would say that the biggest challenge thus far was that I have like a billion other things going on at the same time that this essay is due. It's not an excuse, I know, but it definitely did put me behind my intended schedule. I hope that this week I'm able to effectively catch up and use my time efficiently. 

Production Schedule

As the deadline for the final project only gets nearer, time management is the key in succeeding. In this blog post I will share my production schedule for the course final.

My production schedule can be viewed here.

Content Outline

The content outline of my final project can be viewed here.

I think this final outline is pretty good so far. I'll spend the next few days converting it into a script, which I will then try to record by Thursday. I sort of just want to get this project out of the way so that I can focus more of my attention on my chem class.

Peer Review for Sarah Moskowitz

My second peer review for this week is on Sarah Moskowitz's video essay about limiting screen time for young children.

Her video essay, "A Standing Ovation for Those Limiting Screen Time for Toddlers" can be found here.

For Sarah's project I decided to make a copy-editing suggestion based on the sources that Sarah uses in her project.

Sarah had a lot of information in her video essay, but I felt like not all of it related completely to the topic. I suggested that she take out some of the information and citations that didn't directly relate to her argument. There were also some places where I felt that she needed some citations to add credibility that she didn't have. I suggested she add some in those places. I think that with more strategic citations Sarah's argument would be much stronger.

We talked a lot in class about how citations and references make a project much stronger. People are less likely to refute your opinion if you have facts and citations to back yourself up. I suggested to Sarah that she really use these to back up her argument because that would make it easier to convince the audience.

One thing I liked about Sarah's project is that she sounded very natural during the video essay. It didn't sound like she was reading a script, it sounded like she was very knowledgable about the project and like she was speaking rather than reading.

Peer Review for Cheyenne Garcia

Below is my peer review for my classmate, Cheyenne. I really liked her project, and I think her topic is something that's extremely important.

Her final project can be viewed here.

For Cheyenne's project I decided to make a copy-editing suggestion based on some of her design elements.

For Cheyenne's project I think that the biggest complaint that I had was that some of her video clips were super quiet. I just advised that she try to make them louder because that will make it easier for the viewer to watch.

I also mentioned the genre convention of music in the video. Although Cheyenne's topic is a solemn one, I think when she shows some of the media that doesn't have audio, it would be more easy to look at if she had soft music playing.

One thing I loved about Cheyenne's project was that you could tell that it's a topic she's super passionate about. This really comes through when she talks during the video and I think that that makes her argument much more effective.

Reflection on Local Revision

This second week of editing was super helpful as far as the project 3 went. In this blog post I'll talk about how exactly it helped.

Response

• The biggest success this week was definitely the fact that I rewrote the script for my video essay and ended up actually re-recording the entire thing. As far as this new version of my video goes, I'm actually excited to release this project.

• The biggest challenge about this phase of the process work was that I had to re-write my script completely. It was hard to make a script more direct than it was before, but to still touch on all the things that I wanted to.

• I think that the rest of the work for this project will go super good because theres only a few small changes that I need to make. I have to add credits and make sure that the my audio doesn't get cut off during the transitions. 

• I am actually super excited to submit this project. I'm so proud of it, and I feel like this is probably my best project so far.

Editorial Report 13B

In this post I will talk about how the conclusion of my project has changed from the editing that I did over the past week.

Selection from Rough Cut

The rough cut of the conclusion can be viewed here.

Re-edited Selection

The re-edited conclusion can be viewed here.

Author Response

The main thing that changed in the re-edited version of the conclusion was that I cut out a lot of the information that I decided wasn't super relevant to my topic. I made the conclusion shorter and more direct and I think that will help with the clarity and poignancy of my project as a whole.

As far as the form, I added different music and transitions from one frame to another. I used the genre conventions of the video essay in order to make these things better and I think that overall adding these things will make the project as a whole better.

Editorial Report 13A

I did a heavy amount of editing this past week. In this blog post I will show the differences between my rough cut and from the more final cut of the introduction of my project.

Selection from Rough Cut

The rough cut can be viewed here.

Re-Edited Selection

The re-edited selection can be viewed here.

Author Response

The content of this introduction actually changed a lot from the rough cut to the re-edited selection. I ended up refilming all of my parts of the video and adding in some of the external media. I think all of these things help to make my argument better as well as to make the video itself more interesting to watch because of the multi-media.

The form of this particular piece changed a lot because I used some more of the genre conventions in this more final cut, where in the rough cut I didn't have these things. I added some text and transitions as well as mixed media, all that definitely help to better my video as a whole. They help to make my argument stronger I think, as well as to make the video itself more interesting.

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

In this post I'll be talking about the fine cut of my project 3.

My project 3 fine cut can be viewed here.

Author Response

• I'm actually pretty confident about this new fine cut that I've posted. I spent a ton of time this past week refilming and rewriting to make sure that my video was the best possible. I guess that compared to my last cut, I'm actually excited for people to watch this one.

• I feel like my biggest weakness is just that it's a long video. I guess I would just like to make sure that it holds the viewers' attention and fills the purpose of arguing my point.

• I think that the biggest strengths of my video is that I feel like I have used other media in order to strengthen my argument. I guess I would just like to know if this is actually effective or if it's not.

Peer Review for Joshua Smith

This next peer review will be for someone from section 2 of English 109H. HE has written a standard college essay, and I will do my best to peer review him to make his project better and to give me good ideas for my own public argument.

"Amazing Ideas that Could Make Fracking Greener and Safer" by Joshua Smith

• For Joshua's project I have made some suggestions about form. 

• I think I helped Joshua a lot with the form of his project because he seemed to be missing a few of the genre conventions. He was missing a works cited page, but he stated in his blog post that that was missing. He also had a strangely formatted paper however, that didn't really follow MLA or APA guidelines, as far as I know. I gave him suggestions on how he could work in the conventions of a standard format for a college essay rather than trying to reinvent the wheel.

• The genre conventions for the standard college essay were something that we didn't talk about extensively in class, however it was something that could be found in resources for the class. I used these genre conventions of the standard college essay to help Joshua with the form of his essay. 

• Joshua's paper was written in a very logical way. Everything about it flowed very well and I think that the information and the arguments are all there and all very clear. 

Peer Review for Diego Alcantara

As we continue to work on our projects, the peer review becomes increasingly more important. As the due date gets closer, there is more pressure to start getting a more finalized version of the work. In this blog post I will reflect on a peer review for someone in my section of this class.

"Untitled" by Diego Alcantara

• For Diego's project I chose to make some suggestions on the form of his rough cut of project 3. 

• I think I helped Diego with his project because his form was there, but not really. He had everything in there for his project, however the podcast itself has not yet been recorded. So although he had the content, the form was definitely lacking. I suggested that he record as soon as possible and try to put everything together ASAP because that will definitely make the editing process better.

• We talked a lot in class, as well as in the genre investigations that we did before project 1, about how each genre contains different conventions that make it unique. Right now what Diego essentially has is a QRG with "sound effects" so I think once he actually records he will have much better success with the genre conventions. 

• I really liked how clear Diego's argument was. It wasn't too long, it was too the point, and it was extremely clear. I'm definitely going to have to return to my project and make it much more clear and concise like he did with his.

Reflection on Global Revision Process

As with all processes, the global revision process for project 3 has had its ups and downs. In this post I will reflect on the global revision process for this project.

Response

• The biggest success for me during this process was the fact that I cut out a lot of content from my project that I felt was sort of irrelevant or not really necessary to make my argument. I feel like it helped a lot because it made my argument more concise and more convincing. It still needs work, but it definitely was worse before. 

• The hardest part about this week was the fact that I still am not sure where to fit in other media into my project without weakening my argument. I definitely need to spend some time thinking about this as this is super important to the video essay genre. 

• I think next week is going to be busy with this project. I have to find places to fit in media into my project, as well as cut down the length a little bit. I'm not sure how I'm gonna do this, but my goal is to work on this project for an hour each day, minimum, 

• Overall I'm pretty confident about this project as far as the information and the topic goes. I'm struggling a little bit with the form, that's for sure, but I have no doubt that I'll figure it out if I just put the time in.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

The first phase of post-production for this project overall went pretty well. In this blog post I'll go a little more into detail about what I'm thinking about my project so far, as well as posting a link to my completed rough cut.

Rough Cut

The rough cut of my project can be viewed here. 

Response

I think the most important thing to note about my project is that it definitely is nowhere near complete. I obviously haven't finished the credits section, and I'm not sure that I want to keep it at all, I may actually just add a word document to my final project with all my resources in it. 

I also think it's important to note that I haven't really used any mixed media in my project so far. What I mean by this is all of the video so far is just me talking. I would love to cut out some of this, but I'm not 100% sure where I want to cut it out and add other footage in. If anyone has anything to say about that, that would be very helpful.

I think the biggest weakness of my project right now is that it's extremely lengthy. I'm aware of this, I'm just not really sure where to cut it down. If anyone has any advice on that as well.

I think that the biggest part of my project is that I have a strong argument, however I would love to know is there is anything that I could do to present this argument in a more interesting way. I'm totally willing to refilm completely at this point, but I feel like I kind of need to cut down to make it better and more clear.

Editorial Report 12B

The second part of my video that I chose to show the editing process for was the conclusion of the video. This is the part of the video that is written to make the viewer think so this is extremely important to get right, hence why I'm publicly showing my revision process.

Selection from Rough Cut

The selection from my rough cut can be viewed here. 

Re-Edited Selection

The new and (hopefully) improved version can be found here.

Reflection

• The content of my conclusion for project 3 changed during editing because I cut a lot of information out that I decided wasn't really that relevant to the project. I found myself rambling a lot on camera and so I tried to cut my video so that the content was as direct as possible and as clear as possible. 

• The form changed because I added music and a credits section as well as transitions. All of these are genre conventions that help add towards the form of the video essay. I think that the new form is more effective because it makes the video more interesting and more like a video and less like a written essay.

Editorial Report 12A

As we move further into the project, it's extremely important to continue to edit and revise the project. The idea for this week was to try to make the really rough content into more of a rough cut of the final project. This first editorial report will show the progress that I've made with the introduction of my video.

Selection from Rough Cut

The selection that I chose from my rough cut can be viewed here.

Re-Edited Selection

The new and improved version of my rough cut material can be viewed here. 

Reflection

• I think that the content changed a lot during editing. I cut out some parts that I felt weren't really beneficial to my argument. I think that by taking out these parts that weren't really necessary, I'm communicating my information more clearly. 

• The form changed most during my editing. I added music, titles, and transitions to my video which all helped to make my video more interesting. I think that the edits done to form really help to present the content more effectively because it makes it more interesting to watch. 

Peer Review for Ben Meyer

As my final peer review for the production phase of project 3, I think that it's very likely that this peer review will help me with the post-production of my own  project. I hope to not only help Ben with his project, but to also help myself with my project 3.

"The Ugly" an Excerpt from a QRG by Ben Meyer

For Ben's rough cut, I will be making a comment about the form of his project, which is the QRG. I think this will be most helpful for him, as I have done a QRG as a project already, so it's something that I'm decently knowledgable about. I'm going to make sure that he's using the genre conventions as best as he possibly can.

 I feel like I helped Ben make his excerpt better by giving him advice for future stages of production. I did a QRG for my project 1, and based off the feedback I got, I advised Ben to take advantage of things like bulleted lists and sub-headings, that make the content easier for the reader to skim.

I feel like I really incorporated the genre conventions for the QRG into my peer review for Ben. He's doing a QRG and the QRG is a really unique genre that not a lot of people have worked with before. Since I had already written one and gotten feedback on how I could've bettered mine, I gave Ben feedback for his based on the feedback that I had gotten as well as what I knew that has to be in the QRG.

One thing that I really liked about Ben's project 3 so far is that he has a great topic. The SAT is something that really just sucks in general, but the fact that he called it out for being unfair based on social classes is something that I think is just a really great topic. In my opinion, it's something that everyone who has ever been personally victimized by the SAT can relate to. 

Peer Review for Gaby Marty

As we all start to get together the rough content for our Project 3, an important part of this is to look at other people's projects and say, "Wow that was really great, I should do that," or say, "Gee that was god-awful, I better make sure I didn't do that in my project." It also always helps to have someone else look at your work and say what they think. Often when we're so close to our work, we either see too much wrong with it, or not enough wrong. 

Adaptation of "Body Paragraph 1" by Gaby Marty

For Gaby's rough cut of her standard college essay, I have decided to do a content suggestion. As this suggests, I will be looking at the content of her excerpt and making sure that it follows the project 3 guidelines as well as making sure that it is detailed and backed up by credible sources.

I think that I helped Gaby with her project because I gave her feedback regarding what I liked and didn't like about the project. I gave her some suggestions about how she could strengthen her credibility in order to make her work and her argument stronger, and I think that will really help her in the long run with her project.

Something that is really important with these projects is making sure that you use all of the genre conventions to your advantage. I feel like when I suggested to Gaby that she try to cite more sources in her paper that it would help to improve her credibility for sure, like we talk about in class when appealing to ethos, but it would also help to strengthen her argument. And having a strong argument is really the most important part of this project.

One thing that I really liked about Gaby's rough cut was that her writing was very strong and very persuasive. It makes me want to look back at my own writing for the script of my video essay and make sure that all the statements that I made were as strong and as compelling as the statements that she made in her paper. 

Reflection on Production of Project 3

Project 3 is definitely an interesting one for me, because it will be my first project using a genre that isn't written. Getting on camera and presenting an essay is definitely a different experience for me.

Author Response

• The biggest success of this week was the fact that I have all of my filming done. I would say that this is the biggest deal because that is the thing that is the hardest to do. It's hard to get someplace quiet and nice enough that you can film there.

• The biggest challenge of this week was making sure that my script for the video was inclusive enough. I wanted to make sure that I had all relevant information, as well as some statistics and arguments against counterarguments. I tried my best to include all these things in my script.

• I'd say that based on the fact that I have all of my filming done and edited down so that I know which parts I want to use, that next week will go fairly smoothly. I would say that my hardest part of this video essay will be including other videos and different media into my media. 

• I'd say that overall I'm very confident about the project. I feel confident that I have a good argument that is based off facts and solid information. I'm also very dedicated to my topic at this point, so that makes it much easier to present information and arguments about it.

Production Report 2

In this post you will be able to see the second bit of content that I have adapted from my outline. You'll be able to see how I went from outline, to script, then straight to video.

Outline Item

1. Closing
1. Kesha is just one victim of a larger plague of being silenced for coming out with a traumatic experience.
2. What is more important? Human existence or money.
3. Why do we continue to silence victims?

Adaptation of Outline Item

The adaptation of this outline item can be viewed here.

Author's Response

• The form of this raw content is obviously in the form of a video, as it is a video essay. It has been adapted from an outline, then to a script, and then finally to being presented via video essay. I chose a video of me speaking to the camera because I thought it would be best for the genre of the video essay.
• The production of this raw material went pretty smoothly. I would say that the hardest part was writing the script and making sure that I sounded okay on camera. It's a lot harder than you'd expect to just talk to the camera. I think the best thing that happened during production was the fact that I revised the script several times, and I think that now in its raw content state its a very solid script. 

Production Report

As with all projects, there are multiple stages of production in this one. In the blog post below you will be able to see the differences between my content outline and my rough cut of my video essay.

Outline Item

1. Greeting
2. What is this video about?
3. Attention grabbers:
1. What should be our response to a major company that tries to silence the voice of someone who is suffering due to their refusal to end a contract, in favor of money over life?
2. What does it say about American culture that a celebrity with a huge influence on girls and boys alike cannot speak out about what happened to her because she is called a liar and an attention whore?
4. I think that Sony needs to free Kesha from her contract because...

Adaptation of Outline Item

The adaptation of the introduction of my outline item can be viewed here.

Author Response

• I changed the information from my outline first into a script, which can be viewed here. Then I used the script and turned it into a video of me presenting my information. The conventions of the video essay is that some form of video will be used, so for now I have video of just me talking but later I hope to add in more video.
• I would say that the production of the raw material actually went quite well. It was easy enough to film myself talking and it was easy enough to write a script, as this is something that I'm passionate about. The biggest challenge that I faced was definitely having to look at myself on camera for so long. After watching yourself talk for long enough you start to feel like the whole thing is just garbage, so I hope that when I come back to this next week during post-production I will feel better about it. 

Peer Review for Gabby Dietrich

As I wrap up my Project 3 pre-production, I am finally to my last blog post. This will be a peer review for Gabby from section 2. 

Peer Review 10B

Gabby's content outline can be viewed here.

For Gabby's project I decided to do a resource recommendation because I know that she's making a video essay and her content outline looked pretty solid, so maybe I can help her by making her life a little bit easier.

• I think that I definitely helped Gabby with her project. Although her outline was very solid, I felt that by suggesting different places to film and by suggesting different resources for her to use while filming, that it'll help her project overall.
• I felt like what I helped Gabby with most was the genre conventions of the video essay. In the video essay, one of the main parts is having the option of being on screen and explaining your POV to the audience. It would be hard to do that if your background is loud or distracting, like a dorm room or a busy place might be. 
• I think the most impressive thing about Gabby's project 3 so far is how unbelievably detailed her project is. I think its great how much effort she clearly put into it and I think that the content of her project will be exceptional.

Peer Review for Alexis Morrison

Peer Reviewing is extremely important because it gets you thinking about your project and how you can change it to make it better, but it also allows you to help someone else out.

Peer Review 10A

Alexis's content outline can be found here.

For Alexis's content outline, I decided that an outlining suggestion would probably be the most helpful for me to make. I looked at her outline and examined it for detail and content in order to help her make a better project.

I think that I helped Alexis by giving her a better idea of what she needs to have in her project for it to be a convincing argument. Her outline was not the most detailed, it hit the main parts, but I suggested that she add more detail to try and build a better outline. Overall her work was good so there wasn't too much to comment on, except the lack of detail and the fact that she didn't make a whole lot of references to types of arguments that can be backed up by factual information.

The main thing in Alexis' project that I suggested to make sure she has is references. That's extremely important in the standard college essay because not only does it allow for the genre convention of citations, but it also allows the author of the project to build credibility with his or her readers.

One thing I really liked about her project was her topic. I think her topic is a really good one. It's extremely relevant and it deals with an issue that people with different preferred pronouns deal with every day, but other people might not be aware of.

 

Reflection on Project 3 Pre-Production

The pre-production of project 3 is an important part of the writing process because it gives you an idea of the work that you have to do for the production stages. Below is a reflection on the pre-production work that I finished this past week.

1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
   
   
   I would say that my biggest success throughout this week was the fact that I found a topic that was something that is extremely important to me, as well as something that is a much bigger issue than it is specifically in this case.
   
   
2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
   
   
   My biggest challenge for this deadline was the fact that I procrastinated way too much. I ended up waiting until the weekend to do most of it and I feel like in some ways that affected the quality of my work and my research. I'm definitely going to have to not procrastinate so much in next week's production deadline.
   
   
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
   
   
   I think that based on the fact that I like my project topic and I'm very invested in it that next week will go pretty smoothly. I think that as long as I avoid procrastinating as much as possible, then I will end up having a pretty smooth experience next week.
   
   
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?

Overall, I'm excited about this project much more than I have been about the past two projects. I feel pretty confident about the form of the video essay, and I'm actually a little bit excited to get to try a genre that's a little bit unfamiliar to me.

Production Schedule

It's important, especially for video shooting, that you have a good idea of when things are going to happen because the process involves so much media. In this post I have included a schedule for next week's production.

Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

The rhetorical analysis is one of the most helpful ways to begin your writing and your research. Once you decided who your audience is, why you want to write whatever it is you're writing, and why it matters that you are the one writing, it becomes much easier to begin the writing process. Below, I will write the rhetorical analysis for Project 3, which is a public argument.

Author

I decided not to use from my major for part of my project, but rather to find something in another area that I am passionate about to sort of broaden my horizons. I'm not the most involved person in social issues, however the issue of not taking victims of sexual assault seriously and blaming the victims is something that I think is a huge failure in our society, and the case of Kesha and Dr. Luke highlights it perfectly.

My family is pretty liberal, considering that we're middle class white people. I was raised in a very liberal environment where I was always taught that it's important to help people who are down at the time if you have the means to help them. I also was raised in the church so I feel like in some ways that makes me feel like I have a responsibility to speak out for someone who has obviously been terribly wronged by a huge corporation that has no care for her as a person, but only as a money-maker. I feel like this makes it obvious which side I'm on in the case of Kesha being unable to get out of her record contract after sexual assault and years of abuse.

Audience

I want my audience for this project to be people who are maybe on the fence about this particular argument. Obviously it would be nice to have everyone agree with my opinion, but that won't happen, so I'm going to make this project for the people who are on the fence and may be able to be persuaded that a view based on humanity and not blaming victims is the right way to go.

I think that depending on the social background of a person that would shape how they feel about this issue. I think that someone who had been through a similar trauma would definitely have a clear stance on the issue, but someone who hasn't been through such a trauma may not know what to think.

I also think that gender has a lot to do with it, because although assault happens to men, its more prevalent among women and just by being a woman, I think that gives people a certain stance on this issue. I think not being a woman, or not being in a vulnerable position, like Kesha was, makes it hard to understand why claiming that you were assaulted and not being listened to and being forced to continue to work with the person who assaulted you, hard to imagine.

With this position of people who don't agree with what I think, I think the best way to convince them would probably be just to form the best possible argument that I can for why they should think the way that I think. If it's a good argument then maybe they'll change their minds, but it is likely that someone who vehemently disagrees will continue to do so no matter how much information you give them to try and change their mind.

I think the best way to try and connect with my audience is to make the story seem real. So often we read things in magazines or online and its like wow that happened but you don't really understand that it's a real thing that is happening to a real person right now. I think that if I can make readers who are on the fence realize that this is a real issue, then they may change their minds.

I would like to think that my parents are my target audience. They're liberal, but not overwhelmingly, and although they're both really progressive for their age, I think that they can be old-fashioned on women's issues sometimes. I think the best way to convince them of my perspective would be to present proof. I know that I could probably change their minds if I had proof about my stance.

Purpose/Message

For this particular project, after watching, I want my viewers to agree with my perspective that Kesha is a victim, both of sexual assault and corporate greed, and her voice is being ignored like the voices of so many other victims in similar situations. I would like my viewer to become more sensitive about social issues involving ignoring victims.

I think the most important thing that I still need to research is the action that is being taken by Sony to suppress Kesha's voice and how they are keeping her from making art and from living her life in the best way because they want to use her to make money.

Context

What genre?

For this project I will be making a video essay.

I think people expect there to be a lot of information condensed in a video essay. It shouldn't be too long that the viewer loses interest, but it needs to be long enough to be considered substantial. It has to have a lot of visuals also.

I've made a few videos over the years for various classes and assignments, my last one last semester. So I would say that my history will definitely help during this assignment.

I think because I'm relatively comfortable and familiar with this project that it will help me to make a better project than if I had to stress about form and content. 

I think that in the video essay genre, the most effective conventions are visuals and the ability to use so many types of media. For example, you can use quotes from writing, you can use sound bits, and you can use visuals all to help you get your point across. Making an argument is definitely going to be most effective when you have all these tools to use. The use of visuals is extremely important as well because when I watch a video, that's what keeps my attention. If I just wanted to listen to something, I would listen to a podcast, but with a video, the visuals are what keep your attention.

When?

I think that right now the biggest issue that is happening that has to due with this particular case of Kesha is the amount of other court cases where the main defense is to blame the victim. In Pennsylvania, a woman was blamed for her rape by the Pennsylvania Attorney General's office. A simple Google search will show that there are hundreds of cases like these that are coming to light.In our legal system, it still happens that rape is not treated as serious as it should be.

This topic has been talked about everywhere. Here is an article from the Daily Beast. Here is an article from the Daily Mail. Here is an article from the Daily Edge. Here is a video by New You Media.

The biggest three counterarguments to my point are as follows:

1. Kesha signed a contract with Sony and they have agreed that she doesn't have to work with Dr. Luke but she still wants out of the contract. People think that she should have to stay with Sony even though she went through a trauma because they are trying to make it better by giving her a new producer.
2. The public opinion is that Dr. Luke is a rapist, but he has not been convicted, so legally he is innocent but Kesha is slandering his name.
3. There is a large amount of people who think that Kesha was making the whole thing up simply because she was unhappy with her contract.

Research Report

When doing any sort of writing that is meant to educate an audience, the most important part of  it is to have sources that educate you on the topic you're going to write about. Below is a list of my first 10 sources that have to do with my topic, which is the case of singer Kesha Rose who was sexually assaulted by a producer and is currently battling with Sony over a contract after losing a court case where she tried to sue him to release her from the contract.

1. Kesha-Sues Dr. Luke for Sexual Assault and Battery

TMZ Entertainment News, via Youtube.

I think that the author of this video is credible due to the fact that is this video he cites particular information from the court case in the video (the actual lawsuit can be found here). He also uses quotes from each of the parties that help to make the information give in the video seem more credible than if he hadn't used them (quotes can be found here).

I would say that TMZ entertainment news is targeted at young people, and more specifically young men. When I went to their website, the first thing I noticed was that there was an article titled "WWE Wives: Hottest Stars," which was an article with pictures of girls in skimpy outfits. That screamed to me to be marketing towards young men. The other reason that I would say it's targeted at young people is that TMZ news has articles about young celebrities, such as Kylie Jenner, who I don't imagine an older person who be as interested in as a young person who might find her relatable.

The purpose of this particular video was to give the audience a summary of the court case where Kesha sued Dr. Luke for release from her music contract, due to the fact that she claims she was sexually assaulted and abused. This video is trying to give an unbiased look at the court case. We can know this because it presents both sides of the court case and does not specifically show favor towards one side or the other. The author of the video also uses sayings like "We'll let the court decide what really happened," to show that it is in fact just trying to give unbiased information about the case, rather than to pick sides.

Other details that make the viewer know that it is a reliable source is the fact that the video has a lot of views and that TMZ entertainment has quite a large following on Youtube and on other social media outlets. This source is also updated frequently with updates on news stories like the one about Kesha which makes it an extremely up-to-date and very useful source, especially on topics that are still being resolved.

2. Court Rules Against Releasing Kesha from Her Recording Contract

Wochit Entertainment, via Youtube.

The author of this video appears to be credible, as in the video it states the results of the trial which can be verified here. It also states how Kesha is planning to appeal the trial which can be verified here. 

Wochit Entertainment seems to be targeted at an audience that is in interested in celebrity and entertainment news specifically based on the content of the videos that they upload to their Youtube channel. Based on the fact that their videos are only found on Youtube, it would seem to me that they are targeting a very technologically savvy audience, rather than say, someone who is into celebrity gossip but only reads tabloid magazines. 

The purpose of this video was to again give a summary of the court case where Kesha was suing Dr. Luke for her freedom from a contract she had made with Sony. This author uses pathos by calling Kesha a victim, etc. and makes you want to side with her as well as find out more about the state of her condition, etc. The author also uses quotations from both sides of the argument that present information in such a way that you definitely get a feel for both sides of the story. 

As with the previous video, we can tell that this is a reliable source because this channel on youtube has many many followers and their videos get a large amount of views so they are held highly accountable for the information that they provide. Another thing that makes this source credible is that in the video description, they offer background information and additional information on the topic to supplement their video.

3. Dr. Luke Breaks Silence on Free Kesha

The Young Turks, via Youtube. 

The author of this video appears to be extremely credible as they use many sources of information. They use tweets by both Dr. Luke and Kesha which can be verified here. They also cite specific statistics such as the fact that 2-8% of rape is provably false and state that the statistic come from the National Review. 

This Youtube channel is targeted at an audience that is interested in entertainment news but less in a tabloid fashion and more in a statistically-backed fashion. You can tell this based on the cited statistics. They also present arguments for both sides rather than just stating facts, which shows that they are trying to convince the audience to take a side, but not necessarily a specific one.

The purpose of this video is to present a debate about a current debate that is happening between Kesha and Dr. Luke. This debate presents both sides of the argument and has three different speakers that argue for the different sides of the arguments by using logos in the form of statistics. Each of the speakers each also use ethos, by giving personal testimony and opinions backed by facts to present their arguments.

We can tell that this is a reliable source because the Young Turks channel is the largest online news show in the UK. Many people are currently viewing their videos which means that they are held to a high standard as far as the information in their videos goes.

4. Kesha Claims Sexual and Physical Abuse by Dr. Luke

Clever News, via Youtube.

The author of this video appears to be extremely credible as they cite their information. All of their information about the lawsuit can be found here. They also cite claims made by Kesha regarding the assault and the abuse that she faced that can be found here.

This Youtube channel is targeted at an audience that is interested in entertainment news and gossip, as can be seen by the related videos that they talk about in the video, like "Harry Styles vs. Zayn Malik" and "11 of Miley Cyrus's Best Music Videos Ever." Based on the articles that were suggested, as well as the content of the majority of their videos, I would guess that Clevver News' target audience is younger people, who, I'm going to guess based on stereotype, are probably girls that are interested in boybands and younger pop stars. 

The purpose about this video is to give an analysis of the court case, but more from Kesha's point of view. They focus specifically on Kesha's story, rather than also presenting the story of Dr. Luke, her alleged abuser. This video tries to make the viewer side with Kesha by telling the story of Kesha's victimization. 

We can tell that this a reliable source, due to the popularity of Clevver News on Youtube. Their videos get many views. Their videos are also updated frequently with new sides of stories, etc., allowing us to believe that they are credible and on top of it, news-wise.

5. Kesha Sobs as Judge Refuses to End Contract with Alleged Rapist Dr. Luke

Pop trigger, via Youtube. 

The author of this video is credible due to the fact that they cite information from other places, including statements made by other people, such as Kelly Clarkson, that have worked with Dr. Luke. This information can be verified here. They also cite the specific outcomes of the trial, which forces Kesha to remain under her contract with Sony until the lawsuit on sexual assault is decided. This information can be verified here.  

This Youtube channel is targeted at an audience that is interested in an audience that is not only interested in celebrity news, but also on the opinions behind the controversy. We can tell that it is targeted at celebrity news because all of their other videos have to do with controversies that celebrities are involved in. This channel appeals also to people who want to view opinions of people on celebrity controversies. We can know this because this is an opinionated show that debates certain trending topics in the media, such as the court case of Kesha vs. Dr. Luke.

The purpose of this video is to get a look at the results of the court case that Kesha lost, and to present an opinion on why it is a bad thing that she lost this particular case. We can tell that this is the purpose because all of the speakers start out by saying that Kesha should've been believed when she claimed she was raped and wanted out of her contract, rather than being told she was lying to get money. They talk about rape culture and how that plays into the results of the trial. This video tries to get the viewer to see Kesha as a victim of possibly assault, but definitely as a victim of corporate greed as they cited information about how Sony was refusing to let her out of her contract even though it's clear that both parties were upset with the state of things.

We can tell that this is a reliable source based on its popularity and the amount of viewers and subscribers that this show has on youtube. We can also tell that its a reliable source because all of the people involved in the video can be found on social media, and you can see that most of them are heavily tied to reporting on news and opinions, and often share their work on Twitter and social media probably because they are proud of it and want to be tied to it. 

6. Kesha Breaks Down in Tears as Judge Denies Her Request to Terminate Her Contract with Sony

Entertainment Tonight, via Youtube.

The author of this video is credible due to the fact that they cite specific information from the court case which can be verified here. Not only that, but they give statements that were made by Dr. Luke and can be viewed here.

This youtube channel is targeted specifically at people who are interested in entertainment and celebrity news as is indicated by both the title of their website and Youtube channel, and the content that they post. Most of what they post is celebrity news and trending topics on entertainment. 

The purpose of this video was to give an unbiased overview of the results of Kesha's Trial to try and get out of her record contract. The reason I say that it is unbiased is because they have statements and information from both parties and present both sides of the story. They present the outcome without taking a side either way, making it unbiased.

We can tell that this is a reliable source because Entertainment tonight is a huge news source about entertainment news that would suffer greatly if they were ever to post or publish false information. We also can know that it is a reliable source because the authors and presenters associated with this video can all be linked to this video, and if information in it were false, they would be tied to it. 

7. Kesha Says She Was Offered Freedom from Sony if She Recanted Rape Allegations

by Alex Young, via Consequence of Sound

The author of this article is credible due to the fact that he is the founder of this news cite, meaning that his reputation is at stake every time he or anyone else writes something for the magazine. this information can be verified here. He can also be found on LinkedIn where you can see that he went to Fordham University, a very prestigious school in New York. 

Consequence of Sound is a website that is targeted at people who like Entertainment News. All of their articles are about entertainment news, with titles and topics like "Kim Kardashian Loses It over DJ Duo's Ridiculous Outburst." I would also say that it is targeted at young people as most of the subjects of the news stories are people that younger people are more interested in, like Justin Bieber. 

The purpose of this article was to inform its readers about an update in a particularly hot case that is trending at the moment. I say that it is in update because it only references the court case, it doesn't explain it in full detail, rather the focus of the article is on an offer that was made to Kesha. This source is unbiased in this particular article as it's meant mostly just to present information rather than to give an opinion.

We can tell that this is a reliable source because in the article, there are hyperlinks to other sources. There are also references to social media posts and comments made by the singer Kesha in regards to the offer that was made to her.

8. Sony Music to Drop Dr. Luke Amid Public Pressure over Kesha, Internal Headaches

by Matt Donnelly, via The Wrap

The author of this article is credible due to the fact that he is the Senior Entertainment Reporter at this particular source. He previously worked at the LA Times, another credible source, and went to Temple University. This information can be viewed here.

This news source is targeted to people who want to read a wide variety of news, as can be seen from the content of their stories with titles like "Ivana Trump Defends Ex-Husband as Pro-Immigrant" and "Inside Amy Schumer Teaser Reaveals Huge Game of Thrones Spoiler." This source is also targeted at people who want to read news online, rather than in print, due to its online-only access.

The purpose of this article was to inform the audience about efforts made by Sony to improve its PR after the refusal to terminate Kesha's contract and a lawsuit. They cite statements made by an internal source at the magazine talking about how it is possible that Sony will drop Dr. Luke due to rape allegations. This is an unbiased piece that it more about informing the reader rather than convincing them. The reason I say this is because it is based on facts and evidence rather than trying to convince the reader of something. 

We can tell that this is a reliable source because there are working hyperlinks in the article that take the reader to other sources of information relating the particular case. There are also "updates" published as edits to the article in the case that there was misinformation, showing that the news source tries to be as accurate as possible with the news that they post.

9. Taylor Swift Is on Kesha's Side, but Contract Law Is Not

by Matt Donnelly, via The Wrap

The author of this article is credible due to the fact that he is the Senior Entertainment Reporter at this particular source. He previously worked at the LA Times, another credible source, and went to Temple University. This information can be viewed here.

This news source is targeted to people who want to read a wide variety of news, as can be seen from the content of their stories with titles like "Ivana Trump Defends Ex-Husband as Pro-Immigrant" and "People v. OJ Simpson: 10 Bizarre Details they Got Right." This source is also targeted at people who want to read news online, rather than in print, due to its online-only access.

The purpose of this article was to take more of a side of the story of Kesha and her allege rapist Dr. Luke. In this article, the author sides with Kesha, saying that it is terrible that Sony refuses to end the contract amidst such allegations of abuse. The author also talks about how Sony is the real villain in this case because it would not be such a big deal if it weren't for corporate greed.

This is a reliable source because there are working hyperlinks in the article that take the reader to other sources of information relating to the particular case. This sis also a large media outlet, so for them to publish false information would be detrimental to their reputation.

10. Kesha, Dr. Luke Case Highlights Hidden Side of Record Contracts

by Steve Knopper via Rolling Stone website

The author of this article is credible due to the fact that he can be found on Twitter and is heavily tied to his work on social media, meaning that if he ever published something that wasn't credible he would get wrecked. He can also be found on LinkedIn, where it says he got an education at the University of Michigan, meaning that he is educated and credible in that sense. 

Rolling Stone website is targeted to people who want to read about entertainment news, but also about trending issues that are happening. They have music and movie reviews, but they also get political with articles like "Coyote Bros: How Hard Partying College Kids Became Immigrant Smugglers." This source is also targeted at people who are interested in a more liberal interpretation of the news, as Rolling Stone is often very opinion-based with a leaning towards the liberal direction. 

The purpose of this article was to talk about how even when things as terrible as rape and mental health issues are caused by a contract, legally the contract is still binding. It uses the example of Kesha and Dr. Luke to illustrate this point, but also talks about a case that involved Michael Jackson many years ago. It uses quotations from people involved in the case to get you to side with Kesha in this particular story, and to try and make Sony appear to be the bad guy. 

This is a reliable source because Rolling Stone is a large publication that is in itself a reliable source. They would not publish something that wasn't factual, as that would ruin their reputation badly. You can also tell that it's a reliable source because in the article, there are links to other sources and articles that relate to the topic.